I don’t know with you but somehow, celebrating birthdays make you reflect more deeply about your life and the relationships you keep.
While celebrating my friend Marge’s birthday over lunch, we talked about how long we’ve known each other and how much we changed through the years. As we talked about our common friends and people whom we no longer share spaces with, it made me realize one thing:
It’s meant to happen that way.
Sometimes people have to drift apart, not because one has turned bad or something went really wrong along the way, but because changes needed to happen and not everyone can be part of that journey. It was something that was hard for me to understand during my younger years when suddenly I found myself drifting away from that one person who helped me cope through my teenage life and school: my bestfriend from highschool.
Before I knew it, I was reminiscing about the beautiful friendship from an amazing person whom I've become so fond of. I was yin and he was yang. And it began with a polo he lent me back then when it was pouring. We were on our way back to our campus after a quiz bee we participated in.
That polite thank you I gave after became the start of the usual hi-hello’s at the corridors which eventually transitioned to having small talks, quick snack breaks and after school hang outs. Before we knew it, we were sharing stories over A&W Rootbeer floats (yes, it was a thing then!), laughing as we rode the “horror train” at SM Annex, watching movies and having random calls and beeper messages after class. He was the one who comforted me when my elder brother and stepfather died unexpectedly on my 4th year in high school. I can never forget how he showed up on my graduation day and gave me a hallmark card with his long, heartfelt dedication ending with how proud he was of me and thanking me for being his best friend.
And even after graduation, I kept in touch. I recall getting him his first UP shirt so that he will be inspired to go to the same school that I went to, and luckily he made it. I thought back then that things will still be the same and that it can only get better because we made that promise before no matter what, we will always be best friends.
But then life happened.
We both changed. Met new people. Had different priorities. Admittedly though, we could have tried harder to make it work. However, I can only speak for myself now: I was coming from a space of pain and unresolved issues back then made me just disappear into oblivion (long before ghosting was a term). I am sure he had his reasons too, but I was too caught up with my own drama then to even bother.
However, through the years, he never left my thoughts. At times I found myself thinking about the person, wondering how he was doing in life. That question was finally answered this year when his sister, added me on Facebook and I got a glimpse of what he was busy with. I had to smile upon finding out that he was doing well in life and that he was still in touch with his other friends from way back in high school, the same people who would tag him in my posts before which never did elicit any reaction from both of us because it was awkward.
My thoughts were suddenly interrupted when Marge asked: “So why not give it another chance now?”
Really? After 26 years? What for?
But deep inside I knew my reason why: to finally close chapters and understand what truly transpired back then. Because with understanding, comes acceptance and peace.
Everything had to happen that way because we had to experience life separately so we can grow into the person we were meant to be.
Funny how my friend and I had this conversation, 2 days after he celebrated his birthday. Yes, I still know.
Well to my friend’s wise words: maybe because it’s finally time.
It's not everyday we find friendships so pure and unadulterated. True. We both know ourselves better now, no longer young, impulsive and foolish. We both have accomplished what we probably desired in this lifetime. So what else can be an excuse?
I know by this time, you probably have your own similar story. And you know what, it’s never too late to finally give yourself a brand new start.
On that note, here are two questions to reflect on: What relationship of yours deserves another chance? What can you do to make that happen?
As for me, this is my way of sending my genuine intentions to the universe, hoping that he reads this and somehow, someday, our paths will cross again.
But until then, whatever will be, will be. Life goes on. So can we.
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